Part of an ongoing series for WGA’s focus area, Addressing Violence Against Women and Girls, dedicated to ending violence through education and community support.
Learning to drive. Securing a first job. Navigating a first romantic relationship. Going away to college. Finding an apartment. These are some common rites of passage for teenagers. Unfortunately, for nearly 1 in 3 college women, this also includes saying that they have been in an abusive dating relationship (2011 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll).
Although intimate partner violence affects all age groups, teen girls face unique challenges. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month—a time to examine abuse in teen relationships and learn how we can help.
In adolescence, teens learn to navigate relationships, some of them romantic. Teens learn roles and behaviors from their families, media, and peers. However, these experiences don’t always provide a positive roadmap for healthy dating relationships. Through education, organizations (including WGA’s grantees) can help change that and break the cycle of domestic violence.
What Is Dating Abuse?
“Dating abuse is a pattern of destructive behaviors that exerts power and control over a dating partner. Dating violence usually involves a series of abusive behaviors over a course of time.” (loveisrespect.org)
Technology Abuse
Teen relationships now span both physical and digital worlds. Teens use technology to initiate and grow relationships, communicating through social media, messaging, and sharing photos, videos, and even locations. Popular online platforms include YouTube, TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram, with more than half of teens using these sites (Pew Research Center, 2023).
While oversharing online may seem commonplace, an abusive partner can use this access to control and intimidate their victim. Some examples of technology abuse include:
• Cyberstalking and location tracking
• Accessing microphone and camera
• Reading emails and private messages
• Real-time monitoring of calls and texts
• Sending harassing messages
• Impersonating on social media
• Obsessing over posts and interactions
• Tracking social media followers
• Reviewing browser history
• Sharing intimate photos or videos
Other Considerations
Teens may face additional challenges during or after ending a relationship, including continued contact at school, sports, or within peer groups. Peer pressure can also play a role, whether encouraging the continuation of an unhealthy relationship or discouraging action against abusive behavior.
Teens often have limited autonomy while living at home and being under 18. They rely on adults for emotional support, transportation, and access to health resources. Young adults may want to prove their independence and may hesitate to seek help from older adults.
Seeking Help
Teen dating violence frequently goes unreported. Over 30% of teens don’t report the abuse they experienced to anyone (www.thehotline.org). Barriers to seeking help include fear of judgment, not recognizing the seriousness of the abuse, and potential retaliation from the abuser or peers.
When teens do share their experiences, it’s most often (61%) with a friend rather than an adult or authority figure (loveisrespect.org).
Resources
Adults can educate teens on healthy relationships and support them if they experience controlling behavior or abuse. Active listening, asking questions, and guiding teens to available resources are essential. Ensure teens retain the power to make their own decisions about next steps.
Some resources include:
• Take a quiz online: Is your relationship healthy?
• Call a domestic violence helpline together (some organizations may not be able to assist minors without parental consent)
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
• 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
• Hubbard House (Duval and Baker County)
• Hotline 904-354-3114
• Betty Griffin Center (St. Johns County)
• Hotline 904-824-1555
• Quigley House (Clay County)
• Hotline 904-284-0061
• Micah’s Place (Nassau County)
• Hotline 904-225-9979
• Lee Conlee House (Putnam County)
• Hotline 386-325-3141
• Find a therapist that has experience with domestic violence and its unique safety considerations
• Utilize a confidential Employee Assistance Program (EAP) if available.
• Meet with a school guidance counselor
• Contact the Title IX Coordinator at a college or university to report dating violence
• Report abuse to local authorities
How to Help
Share this knowledge. Send this article to a teen, a parent, an aunt, a teacher, or a community leader. Sharing these resources may help someone who needs it.